Celebrate Being A Fat American With Funny Fat Guy T-Shirts
Let us be completely honest for a minute, shall we? If it wasn’t super entertaining to choke down greasy, unhealthy food…then we wouldn’t be doing it, would we? In America, we have the opportunity to eat whatever we want to eat, whenever we want to eat it. That doesn’t make us bad people. We are a wealthy country, and the side effect is wide-spread obesity and laziness. We work just as hard as anyone else in this world, and if we decide to enjoy our wealth with a burritos and funny fat guy t-shirts…then so be it.
Being fat is not a healthy life choice. For many of us, it was never really a choice at all. A combination of genes and poor parenting made us into the alpha consumers we are today. If you have a television, then you have surely had some super-fit skinny person tell you what a slob you are and how soon you are going to die. We know all about it, and every fat person has tried to lose weight many times in their life. We just get tired of trying sometimes, is all. I am going to spend my time away from the scale in happiness, and that means celebrating my fatness with good food and funny fat guy t-shirts.
There is nothing more American than being fat and happy, and nothing is fatter or happier than funny fat guy t-shirts. All of the world looks to the United States with contempt because of the massive majority of us who are fat. Frankly, it is none of the world’s business what Americans do with our time or money. If we want to celebrate our success with food, then so be it. We are a prosperous country and not many of us are for want of something to eat. There are many countries in the world that are full of starving people, but does that mean we have to cut back out of American guilt?
Most of our children will never grow up hungry, cold, or scared. Even in our most desperate times, we are nowhere near as poor as 90% of the world. It is time to celebrate this fact. No more guilt or shame for us, thank you. We’ll take a second helping of modest satisfaction with a side of extra fries. I know that I will probably never be a thin person because of years of bad habits, but that doesn’t mean I need to be unhappy. I will wear my funny fat guy t-shirts and take joy in my life.
Quit letting skinny people make you feel like less of a person. Technically, you’re much more of a person if you’re overweight. We are human beings, just like everyone else in this country. Our problems are pretty trivial when compared to the rest of the world, so relax. It’s not the end of America if we’re fat. We just wear some funny fat guy t-shirts and deal with the situation as we always have…throw money and food at it until it goes away.
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